From Gobble-gobble to Ho Ho Ho

Approaching Thanksgiving break, I felt pretty confident. I finally knew all the kids' names. I had hit my stride. The kids were used to me; I was used to them. Everything was good. Then, they realized vacation was just around the corner. Insanity crept in, and not just with the kids. The teachers, including myself, were tired. Simply put, we all needed the vacation. I found that scheduling assignments that required intense focus and hard work near the end of the week before a vacation is not a good plan. The kids alternated between a zombie-like state and hyperactivity (neither good for focusing). This is not to say that they should be given a pass prior to breaks and not expected to work, but keep in mind that some activities are better suited to these days than others.

The week of Thanksgiving offered a nice break. Several days off in a row provided just the respite we all needed. I slept in. I even managed to go a couple of days without planning lessons. I felt renewed. I even missed my students! I really did. I thought everyone would return after the break ready to go, but that wasn't the case universally. The teachers all seemed reinvigorated, but the students came back tired. Their sleep schedules were obviously out-of-whack. They came back lethargic and suffering from memory loss seemingly specific to what they learned prior to the break. Then there were a couple of days of relative normality before they began to ask when they would be out for winter break. Much to their dismay, final exams stand between now and their next vacation if they are in middle or high schools, and almost all grade-levels are beginning to prepare for standardized testing (if they have not already done so). There is a lot of curriculum to cover in the next couple of weeks, and the students are not entirely focused. This creates a challenge and a need for creative and engaging lessons. Teachers of younger students can sometimes use class winter parties as incentives, while middle and high school teachers have to use other incentives to encourage active learning.

This is also the time of year when fall student teachers prepare to leave the classrooms that, hopefully, we've come to love. I know that I have worked hard to build rapport with my students, and while I am happy to be nearing certification as an educator (and can't wait to get my own classroom), I am sad to be leaving my students behind. I say "my students" because since the second week of school, I have taken responsibility for them along with their successes and failures.

It is important at this point to send out resumes, thank the teachers and staff who have supported you during your time as a guest in their school, and take a minute to thank the kids for all they have taught you - because you learned as much from them as they did from you. Next week is my last week student teaching, and I will be observing other teachers in the building. This not only broadens my education, but also helps the students and cooperating teacher get used to working together again. It will be very strange that first day that I don't have to get up and go teach my classes. I can't help feeling a bit sad.

Savvy Suggestion: Prepare something to say to your students on your last day, and be sure to thank them sincerely for all that they have done to help you on your journey. Let them know, one last time, how much you care about them and their success.

One month down...

This might just be one of the strangest experiences of my life. The ups and downs from day to day are unpredictable and emotionally exhausting. The old cliche comes to mind; what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger. I know I'm not alone in feeling this way; I have spoken with several other student teachers who feel completely frustrated one day, and renewed the next. It even changes from one hour to the next. One class period might be on task and your lesson is going well - you even see that spark in the students' eyes as they "get it." The next period might be a classroom management nightmare. The lesson runs amuck. NO ONE seems to understand. You feel like you're fighting a losing battle - all while your CT watches (supposedly not judging you, but how could he/she not be?). If you feel this way, and you most likely will, you are not alone.

My US just observed me for the second time, and it was during one of those days when I felt dejected and disillusioned. The debriefing that followed the observation still went well, and my US offered some great suggestions for engaging the students. One strategy for helping with time management (that I learned in Classroom Management but haven't implemented yet) is the use of a timer with a bell to signal when the time alotted for an activity has ended. I have been giving verbal time warnings, such as "5 more minutes", etc., but the alarm is a great tool that helps me keep track of time and get students' attention better than a verbal "time's up" from me (especially if it's an activity during which students are allowed to talk). My US offered several other helpful suggestions as well. Remember, that's what your US if for! They are great resources, chosen for their experiences in the field, so remember to utilize yours.

I have not been good about calling my US to discuss my frustrations, because I tend to try to solve problems on my own. However, I strongly suggest that you talk with yours before the stress starts to wear you down too much. You can't perform your best when you begin to feel lost or miserable. I promise to be better about taking my own advice for the remaining 2/3 of my student teaching experience.

For now, I feel renewed. The day after my 2nd observation, the one during which I felt dejected, I had a kid who wouldn't turn in assignments before turn something in after his conversation with me. He even initiated a high-five with me. I saw some students make some important breakthroughs because of me! I feel like I'm in the right profession again. I just need more practice.

If you can't tell, I tend to be verbose (or quite wordy) once I begin writing, so I will list a few things that have caused me stress so far. I will re-visit these later in the semester to let you know what solutions I have found, because I WILL find solutions.

1) A lack of autonomy
2) Feeling like a guest in a class where I'm supposed to take charge
3) Having a vastly different vision/style than my CT
4) Classroom management (too much talking, kids off-task, etc.)
5) Ridiculously long hours (this will vary for you depending on your CT)
6) Lesson plans that are constantly in flux and not solely up to me - I would like to know where I'm headed so I can help the kids get there!

Savvy Suggestion: Hang in there! Some days, you will want to quit, or at least question whether or not you made the right career choice. Things won't always go according to plan. Then, things will come together. You will see that spark in a kid's eyes, they will high-five you, you will make a real difference in a student's life sooner than you expect to. You will find your groove, and feel amazing.

Week 2 in Review

This past week started off so rocky I wanted to quit. I didn’t quit, but I did cry. I actually cried one day because the stress level got to me. You hold in your personal emotions all day, because you can’t let the kids see you “sweat,” and you definitely can’t let them see if they are getting on your nerves, so I was surprised when fatigue and emotion got the better of me and I needed a release. Some people might have had a glass of wine, and I know some of the teachers had visits planned to the chiropractor to work out stress, but I just wept and went to bed.

I woke up still feeling exhausted, but with a sense that even if the day didn’t go exactly as I had planned, it had to be better than the day before. And it was.

Let me backtrack a bit. Why did I want to quit? I had a lot going for me from day one; I am as comfortable as a new teacher can be with lesson planning, I understand the technology in the classroom, I work well with a team, and so on. The single most challenging aspect - the one that made my day unbearable - was classroom management. Two classes in particular are very large, with very rowdy kids who do not want to work at all. I simply had never been in a situation where I would instruct a group to do something and they just didn’t. I repeated instructions too many times to count. I found it difficult to call the kids out on their bad behavior because I didn’t know their names yet. (The Cooperating Teacher did not have a seating chart). I used the proximity method to influence the students’ behavior, but I couldn’t be everywhere at once. It was not a fun day. I did some self-reflection between tears, and made a plan.

The next day, I discussed my feelings with some of the other teachers during the planning period. I found that they were having the same issues in their classrooms, and they are experienced! It made me feel better, and I waited to implement my plan. With the help of my CT, I created a seating chart that separated some of the trouble-makers from each other. This also helped by giving me a tool to help memorize names. I now do my best to make sure I have the attention of the entire class before giving them directions, and every time I repeat myself I refer to where I have the directions written on the board. They have improved greatly in one week, though they still have a long way to go.

My first observation by the University Supervisor is this week, and I am nervous. I am doing a type of lesson I haven’t seen done with the kids before now, so I have no way of knowing how they will react. I am expecting some high level thinking from them, and I anticipate a fight from a few of them. However, I look forward to talking to my US about the challenges I am facing and learning from the US’s expertise. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Savvy Suggestion: Don’t expect yourself to be perfect from the beginning. Self-reflection is an important tool to gauge how you’re doing and plan ways to improve. Also, go over those notes from classroom management – it is so important to your success!

Week 1 in Review

At the end of week 1, I am tired more than anything. Adjusting from the schedule of a college student to that of a teacher is a bit of a stretch. I am used to staying up until early morning hours to finish papers and catching naps when and where I can between classes. Now I find myself going to bed at a "respectable hour" as some would say...and I can't really say I like it. However, the school schedule leaves me little choice. Therefore, I jump up when my alarm goes off (way too early in the morning for my liking) and fake it all day long. I guess at some point I'll get used to this strange agriculturally-inspired schedule.

I will begin teaching at least one class period during week 2, and have spent the greater part of my weekend trying to decide how to construct the lesson plan. I actually think this would be easier if it was for my own class, but planning is nerve-wracking when trying to keep the desires and style of the cooperating teacher and university supervisor in mind while remaining true to myself. I am not at all sure that this is entirely possible in my case, which leaves me in quite the predicament. Whom do I primarily aim to please? I am a guest in the CT's classroom, the US determines my future, and I cannot perform to my full potential unless I have a strong plan that I believe in. This is the point where I need to speak with my CT and possibly my US. I will possibly have a stronger sense of where the lesson plans are going after the planning period tomorrow.

For now, I will wrap up and prepare for bed in a few, short hours. I will be up again at the crack of dawn. Prepare to spend some extended time in the classroom; teachers arrive earlier than everyone else and leave later. Plan on spending time at home planning, preparing, or working in some way - even if you are extremely efficient and get tons done during the school-day. Expect to attend after-hours functions like PTA meetings, meet-the-teacher nights, and more.

P.S. My main focus this week (aside from finishing the lesson plans) is to learn names. Student teachers are at a disadvantage coming in after the CT already knows the students. It is also more difficult in a classroom with no seating chart. Try to come up with a plan for remembering names quickly and accurately (unless you're lucky enough to be great with names - a gift I do not possess.)

Savvy Suggestion: Get as much information as you can from your CT about his or her goals for the class before attempting to create your own lesson plans. You will be working within parameters that include the CT's plans, STAAR objectives, district guidelines, and more. Ask questions until you feel comfortable that your lesson plans will be good for the students, CT, US, and YOU! This can be tricky, but it will get easier with practice.