Week 2 in Review

This past week started off so rocky I wanted to quit. I didn’t quit, but I did cry. I actually cried one day because the stress level got to me. You hold in your personal emotions all day, because you can’t let the kids see you “sweat,” and you definitely can’t let them see if they are getting on your nerves, so I was surprised when fatigue and emotion got the better of me and I needed a release. Some people might have had a glass of wine, and I know some of the teachers had visits planned to the chiropractor to work out stress, but I just wept and went to bed.

I woke up still feeling exhausted, but with a sense that even if the day didn’t go exactly as I had planned, it had to be better than the day before. And it was.

Let me backtrack a bit. Why did I want to quit? I had a lot going for me from day one; I am as comfortable as a new teacher can be with lesson planning, I understand the technology in the classroom, I work well with a team, and so on. The single most challenging aspect - the one that made my day unbearable - was classroom management. Two classes in particular are very large, with very rowdy kids who do not want to work at all. I simply had never been in a situation where I would instruct a group to do something and they just didn’t. I repeated instructions too many times to count. I found it difficult to call the kids out on their bad behavior because I didn’t know their names yet. (The Cooperating Teacher did not have a seating chart). I used the proximity method to influence the students’ behavior, but I couldn’t be everywhere at once. It was not a fun day. I did some self-reflection between tears, and made a plan.

The next day, I discussed my feelings with some of the other teachers during the planning period. I found that they were having the same issues in their classrooms, and they are experienced! It made me feel better, and I waited to implement my plan. With the help of my CT, I created a seating chart that separated some of the trouble-makers from each other. This also helped by giving me a tool to help memorize names. I now do my best to make sure I have the attention of the entire class before giving them directions, and every time I repeat myself I refer to where I have the directions written on the board. They have improved greatly in one week, though they still have a long way to go.

My first observation by the University Supervisor is this week, and I am nervous. I am doing a type of lesson I haven’t seen done with the kids before now, so I have no way of knowing how they will react. I am expecting some high level thinking from them, and I anticipate a fight from a few of them. However, I look forward to talking to my US about the challenges I am facing and learning from the US’s expertise. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Savvy Suggestion: Don’t expect yourself to be perfect from the beginning. Self-reflection is an important tool to gauge how you’re doing and plan ways to improve. Also, go over those notes from classroom management – it is so important to your success!