I'm still here...

I don't know how many of you are following my student-teaching trek (I didn't put a counter on the blog because I didn't really want to know), but in case you were wondering why I haven't blogged...it's because I have been extraordinarily busy. You will hear your professors say that student-teaching is not an 8-3 (or similar hours) job. They know what they're talking about. You will be at school early and leave late, assuming you are putting your best effort into the experience. When you get home, you will still find yourself taking care of lesson-planning, etc. If you are also trying to work part-time, take classes, have a family, or other time-consuming areas of life, expect to be spread extremely thin. Then, add to that all the unpredictable occurrences in life, and you will feel like you're drowning some days. So, now that I have shared the reality of the schedule woes and explained my absence from blogging, here's what's new...
 
I had my first experience with a violent student recently. The student often comes into class upset, but I am usually proactive and help the child calm down before class starts. On this particular occasion, that approach didn't work. When the student began throwing a temper tantrum and the other students became worried, this merely enraged the student more. A violent outburst ensued, and I needed to call security. Make sure you know the extension before you need it. It just so happened that I had never been told (or admittedly looked for it myself) the extension to call, so mid-outburst, I was looking through the handbook for the number. During that extra minute, something awful could have happened. I should have been more prepared.
 
Other than that, my pacing is improving - though sometimes it is still difficult when I'm creating lesson plans to figure out exactly how long each segment will take in order for the students to complete a specific task. Some things that should be easy take an excruciatingly long time, while other tasks that you think will take quite a while are done in no time and you have to come up with an additional activity quick! I often ask my CT for advice on this issue, but it gets easier to plan as I gain experience. Classroom management with one group is still a nightmare. If anyone has expertise on how to get a really chatty group of kids to just stop talking for 5 minutes, let me know. Seriously, respond to this message if you have a great idea. I have tried everything, from humor to detentions (also proximity, the teacher glare, changing seats, and so on). Some kids have really improved as I've built rapport with them, but others sincerely do not care to be in school at this point in their lives. I wish I could magically bestow a work ethic and a desire to learn onto them.
 
Savvy Suggestion: Another thing that professors will tell you that is absolutely true is that people in this profession talk and your reputation will spread - so make it a good one! I just learned that someone was having a conversation about me at a completely different school, and I don't know who the connection is. I don't think it is my CT, so who's doing the talking? Hmmmm...it's really strange. I'm pretty confident that I'm doing the best job I possibly can, so I prefer to imagine that the conversation was positive. Work hard, be true to yourself, and eagerly learn as much as possible! It goes without saying that you should be professional at all times - be on time, dress the part, etc.

Student Teacher Workshop #1

Yesterday, UTD's weary yet largely successful student teachers came together for the first Student Teacher Workshop. As several faculty observed, it was interesting to note the changes in presence of the team of newbie teachers. While we are all stretched thin, very tired, and facing different challenges, we are also more experienced and less afraid than we were just a few short weeks ago. I wonder how different we will be by the end of the semester!

It was great to talk to peers and find out what triumphs and challenges everyone is facing. I did a lot of listening yesterday, so I could share my observations with you. One overwhelming attitude shared by almost everyone I spoke with was the genuine care they have for their students. It is amazing how quickly the kids whose names you are struggling to remember during the first couple of weeks become "your" kids. Many of us felt strange being away from them for the afternoon, or spoke of dreading the day when we turn them back over to their regular teachers.

Learning how to manage time was also a common issue. Sometimes, lessons go much more quickly than anticipated and you are left with extra class time. In that case, you either need to think really quickly on your feet or have some mini-lessons planned in advance just in case. On the other hand, sometimes lessons take longer than anticipated or are derailed by questions or conversations (which can be well worth the time!), and you have to figure out where you can shorten segments, remove some elements, or find time the next class period to continue.

Some student teachers expressed concerns either with their CT or their US. In several cases, a student teacher feels that one or the other has unrealistic expectations, doesn't understand their teaching style, or is not as supportive as he/she could be. Luckily, most people I heard from felt as though they had a strong support system.

Everyone expressed confidence that they were well-prepared academically, though some real-world experiences were surprising. Some people are in non-traditional classrooms or different grade-levels than anticipated or wished for. Some have students with very specific IEPs and special needs. Also, many student teachers were surprised by the vast differences in abilities of the students within one class. Classroom management concerns were also voiced by just about everyone I heard speak, except those with CTs that had a strong management system in place early in the year. These are things that are difficult or impossible to learn in a college course, but the good news is that everyone feels as though he or she is learning a lot about how to handle these opportunities for growth already.

My final thought is that I am thankful for the meeting yesterday. It was valuable to be among peers, share experiences, offer support and advice to each other or simply lend an ear, and meet with our TDC advisors and mentors. We received training on how to write successful learning objectives and create anticipatory sets and closure activities that enhance student learning. These are things we all learned in class, but it is different hearing the information after being in the classroom and trying these practices on our own! I am posting the list of Bloom's verbs on the wall near where I write daily learning objectives so that I can remember to use meaningful & measurable verbiage. I will post some of the great tips I picked up later this week.

Savvy Suggestion: Many student teachers expressed mixed feelings about being asked to perform a lot of duties by CTs or departments. When you can help out by creating lesson plans or doing the "busy work" of grading, running scantrons, copying, etc., you feel helpful and accomplished. However, it is difficult not to feel just a tiny a bit resentful or "used" when you are completely exhausted. While everyone had a mostly positive attitude about this rite of passage, they couldn't help but notice that there must be some unspoken initiation process at work. So we all continue to smile, accept any assignment thrown our way, and offer to help before it is even asked. Remember, student teaching is not just training, but also a job interview. You never know who is watching, assessing your attitude and skills, and talking about you to other educators. Always keep a positive attitude and willingness to show your eagerness to embrace all aspects of teaching.

One month down...

This might just be one of the strangest experiences of my life. The ups and downs from day to day are unpredictable and emotionally exhausting. The old cliche comes to mind; what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger. I know I'm not alone in feeling this way; I have spoken with several other student teachers who feel completely frustrated one day, and renewed the next. It even changes from one hour to the next. One class period might be on task and your lesson is going well - you even see that spark in the students' eyes as they "get it." The next period might be a classroom management nightmare. The lesson runs amuck. NO ONE seems to understand. You feel like you're fighting a losing battle - all while your CT watches (supposedly not judging you, but how could he/she not be?). If you feel this way, and you most likely will, you are not alone.

My US just observed me for the second time, and it was during one of those days when I felt dejected and disillusioned. The debriefing that followed the observation still went well, and my US offered some great suggestions for engaging the students. One strategy for helping with time management (that I learned in Classroom Management but haven't implemented yet) is the use of a timer with a bell to signal when the time alotted for an activity has ended. I have been giving verbal time warnings, such as "5 more minutes", etc., but the alarm is a great tool that helps me keep track of time and get students' attention better than a verbal "time's up" from me (especially if it's an activity during which students are allowed to talk). My US offered several other helpful suggestions as well. Remember, that's what your US if for! They are great resources, chosen for their experiences in the field, so remember to utilize yours.

I have not been good about calling my US to discuss my frustrations, because I tend to try to solve problems on my own. However, I strongly suggest that you talk with yours before the stress starts to wear you down too much. You can't perform your best when you begin to feel lost or miserable. I promise to be better about taking my own advice for the remaining 2/3 of my student teaching experience.

For now, I feel renewed. The day after my 2nd observation, the one during which I felt dejected, I had a kid who wouldn't turn in assignments before turn something in after his conversation with me. He even initiated a high-five with me. I saw some students make some important breakthroughs because of me! I feel like I'm in the right profession again. I just need more practice.

If you can't tell, I tend to be verbose (or quite wordy) once I begin writing, so I will list a few things that have caused me stress so far. I will re-visit these later in the semester to let you know what solutions I have found, because I WILL find solutions.

1) A lack of autonomy
2) Feeling like a guest in a class where I'm supposed to take charge
3) Having a vastly different vision/style than my CT
4) Classroom management (too much talking, kids off-task, etc.)
5) Ridiculously long hours (this will vary for you depending on your CT)
6) Lesson plans that are constantly in flux and not solely up to me - I would like to know where I'm headed so I can help the kids get there!

Savvy Suggestion: Hang in there! Some days, you will want to quit, or at least question whether or not you made the right career choice. Things won't always go according to plan. Then, things will come together. You will see that spark in a kid's eyes, they will high-five you, you will make a real difference in a student's life sooner than you expect to. You will find your groove, and feel amazing.